is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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