Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
