You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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