What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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