Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize