i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
