I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
