we made out on top of his cat.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize