Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just pee around me
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm like, not good at living.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
