I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
