sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize