Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
