Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
