another moral hangover. fuck.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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