and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
