@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i out mim tonsoeep
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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