found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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