doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
