watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
