U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We are two peas in an std pod
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
