we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I did not marry a roomba.
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