Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
