so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
