Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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