Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
