It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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