Girls should come with a carfax report
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My dick has a subreddit
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
