Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
