Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
