hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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