1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
