i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
