Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
