It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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