I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
