I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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