just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
