My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
