home. puking in laundry basket.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
