My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He called his prostate his "boner button".
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You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
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His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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