at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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