The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
the day after is always just damage control
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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