nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
being pregnant is like rehab
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
