Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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