Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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