id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I'm really busy with my period
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