i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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