I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.