fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
