So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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