you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
