i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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