Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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