Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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