He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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