That's intense
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
