Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
