Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
