I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize