Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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