Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
