Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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