Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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